Just yesterday morning I was walking out of the train station downtown only to see two red faced businessmen yelling insults into each others faces. A police officer standing by chuckled and said to me, “What a way to start a beautiful day!”. I couldn’t help but think how this angry encounter could set a negative tone for the rest of the day for these two businessmen.
We initially tend to react instead of respond. In the moment our reasoning seems perfectly logical when in reality it may be skewed due to overpowering emotions. These overpowering emotions can feel as if we lost our mind. When we acknowledge ourselves in the heat of the moment we can separate ourselves from the heat and move into the cool. We may notice an emotional trigger that began the argument and realize it has little to do with the present situation but instead feelings related to a separate situation entirely that was dragged into the moment and towards someone or something. It is important we practice honesty with ourselves and ask ourselves why we reacted in such a strong manner. As we truthfully acknowledge what set our flame ablaze, we can peel back layers and discover a part of us that may need extra attention towards healing so we can respond to a situation appropriately and make the best decision in the present moment.
By responding we communicate clearly our feelings and intentions. Doing this gives us a better chance of getting what we want than if we loose our cool in reaction. We notice our biggest outbursts can be to the most precious people we know around us as we feel comfortable around them but miscellaneous anger can cause more harm than good. Knowing our clear reasons to argue can help us develop emotionally as a whole.