As we move through life we may come to realize that the people we decide to surround ourselves with are sacred to the quality of our well being. If we allow ourselves the opportunity to truthfully reflect what relationships and connections we possess, it comes clear which of these relationships are draining our energy or are filling our cup.
Our light people will present themselves in times of distress when we signal that we are requesting their support and continue to radiate the love and support consistently. They will hold space for us when do not have the time, energy, or opportunity to center ourself and provide guidance that originates from a variety of perspectives based off their individual experiences.
Whether the support they provide comes in the form of guidance or wisdom, their combined presence will give us a sense of security that strengthens us and reminds us that we are unconditionally loved.
When we feel depleted from our state of vibrancy, this does not mean that we are lazy or unfit for the tasks in our lives, it simply means that we need to recharge our batteries and find a way of maintaining our sustainability.
When we are experiencing depletion, we can take an honest look at our patterns of thought, actions and feeling. They may give us a hint to the what is misaligned with who we really are. However this exhaustion may not be caused internally. There may be people or situations in our life which may be draining our energy. Once we gain clarity on the root cause, we can better direct our flow of energy.
Later we may come to realize the reason we feel depleted has less to do with how much we are doing and more to do with the fact that in our heart, we would much rather be doing something else entirely different as the quality of our passions. Now that we have come to expose our deeper layers internally, we have the ability to acknowledge what our heart truly wants. It may be as subtle as meditation, or just a moment of inner silence to gain the clarity we need. When we know what we truly want to do, and honor that in all situations, we will find ourselves realigning to sustainability.
Today holds a wealth of information and opportunities available to us. We may find ourselves torn between a variety of our interests, feeling enticed to try them all, but doing so only diffuses our energy, leaving us unable to fully experience any of them. Like an electrical socket with too many things plugged into it, we may be in danger of overheating and burning out. If we can choose one thing at a time to deliberately focus all of our attention, we increase our quality of used energy and engage ourselves fully in the moment so that it can nurture us in return.
So while our attention is pulled in multiple directions, we can take the time to listen to our inner guidance and focus our thoughts on the goals that resonate the most strongly within us, the rest of the world will fade away. We may never know which of our interests is best suited to our abilities and heart’s desires unless we give it a proper chance.
Because we are multi-faced beings, we are involved in many aspects of life in every moment. We can continue to fulfill our many interests by exploring hobbies that meet our physical, emotional and spiritual needs in a balanced harmony of self care.
There will be days where starting over is the only option. It will feel like a step back, a lack of progress, even time wasted. We will question how we ended up in this state and begin to lose trust in ourselves because all along, we may have felt we had been growing and doing good but with these days we convince ourselves that we have not progressed and we are “bad” and ultimately lose trust in our intuition.
Essentially we are adopting this all or nothing, black and white mindset of what is good and what is bad and it is problematic. I do not want to suggest either that in our individualized state that we infinitely know what is wise and what is right because that wisdom we gain is an interconnected process as well as an embodied one.
The internal self is mysterious and it is something that we have trouble accessing sometimes. These days that seem to feel like starting over is the only option, may really be the best thing for us. It encourages us to mend to our wounds that may have been underlying the entire time.
Although we see it as this bad thing, we can explore how our defenses and coping mechanisms that we believe are causing our lack of progress may actually seem to be protecting us from what we were not ready to confront. Perhaps in giving this survival behavior the attention and energy, we could give our attention and energy it to the wound it is trying to help us deal with. We can ask ourselves what was there before our defense or coping mechanism was needed? We may find ourselves to feel unsupported, lonely, angry, depressed, etc. The more we explore it, the more confident we are to confront the pain and we will realize we do not need to have these defenses because our needs are now being met. in that moment we began again and understand that these days of starting over really is an opportunity to shed and realign.
Isn’t it funny how we are so quick to list in frustration what we “should” or “shouldn’t” be doing when we feel suffering… yet in that moment, we are simply listing the solutions to our suffering? We are listing what would meet our needs and what would make us happier.
We tend to neglect ourselves and our needs. No matter how introspective we are of our needs, we get comfortable in our routine, preferring that each day be much like the same but we eventually grow to realize we have settled for mundane. We spend our days daydreaming of or shoulds and shouldn’ts and avoid the drive to pursue change because of the effort it takes to begin again, fear, expectation or judgement. While daydreaming can be a great coping mechanism, it becomes harmful when it no longer serves us and becomes an escape from reality.
But if we notice closely, when we experience suffering we can easily list what would meet our needs. What we are so quick to list is not usually huge, but instead small little things to ease our days. If we take that in consideration and continue to exchange more of those small moments that bring us contentment in our day to day life, it becomes more consistent, more routine. If only we gently acknowledge the thoughts that submissively underlie, we would already be on our way to contentment.
This year has done its teaching with me on boundaries. Boundaries with work, friends, relationships, family. Boundaries were always a weakness of mine and perhaps you can relate, too. I acknowledged this weakness but never did much about it because I thought if i kept them soft and resilient with others that there would be less conflict among two people or that boundaries were a sign of fear of emotional states and change. But there is something to be done when you notice more hurt than you do peace.
Simply put, boundaries can make us hurt. We can think of it as going to the dentist by understanding the concept of hurt vs harm. Going to the dentist hurts but long term it is good for us. The harm is the sugar we eat. It may feel really good in the beginning but in the end we develop cavities, disease and addiction.
In the same way, setting boundaries can hurt because we may feel we had let someone down, that we are showing weakness or we care deeply for the person that hurt us. However, we show people how we want to be treated through boundaries. In setting boundaries, we practice valuing our peace and respect. It is greater we protect what is ours now that we have it.
When our days seem to blend together, we may get so wrapped up in this repetitive pattern that we lose a sense of purpose. Fulfillment does not come from realizing far off dreams. Instead, it comes from living day to day in a way that is meaningful within itself.
We can think of our work day as an example and ask ourselves if we are truly engaged in our work and the people we are surrounded with or were we just clocking in and out? When we arrive home did we crash and sit in front of the tv? or did we truly rest?
We ultimately will ask ourselves if the moments in our day are enriching us. Slowing down allows us to not only savor our experiences, but it allows us to fully focus our attention and energy on the task at hand. Moving slowly allows us to get things done more efficiently, while rushing diminishes the quality of our work and our relationships. Moving mindfully, deliberate, and fully present gives ourselves the opportunity to return to our natural rhythms.
Whether we realize it or not, we have impacted someone’s life and have those who adore us from afar. It is easy to assume people we care about know that we hold love for them. However, too many of us have become silent admirers that hold the words that can enrich another being’s life, day or moment.
While this is not necessarily a bad thing, there is importance in expressing the impact others have had on us. Verbally expressing our love, platonic or not, can reaffirm and strengthen a bond between two people in the highest form.
We each hold a multitude of love and We should never hold shame for loving too much as love exists to be expressed and not withheld. The best expression is shown without expectation of a return investment. This is an offering that is unconditional and given without strings attached.
It can be difficult to see where we begin and where the world ends with all the external influences we have. Requests from work may seem more like responsibilities and it often feels easier just to give in. We may shrug the hurtful words of a disrespectful person rather than engage in conflict. When the expected reactions and actions of us are not in align with our path, it is important we reflect on creating clear boundaries in order to take responsibility for our own needs.
we gain a sense of a self-confidence through which we realize we have control on how we react to the world around us. But when we are aware of our own needs and create appropriate boundaries, we begin to feel more secure and confident within our inner vessel knowing we deserve happiness.
As our practice deepens, the more we acknowledge the connection between our mind and body. The condition of one affects the condition of the other. By understanding this concept, we can gently approach our needs appropriately.
When the body receives a clear directive from the mind, it knows exactly what to do but when our mind is overwhelmed we feel our muscles tense, our breath shortens, and we later find ourselves feeling constricted when it may become unbearable.
It is in these moments when we sit down to meditate, we let our bodies know that it is okay to slow, be still and rest. This simple validation presents itself as a sensation we can feel both physically and mentally. We discover that this space that has been created has no hard, definable edges. It is a vast, open, sacred space where we our tension we once experienced can now spread thin where we now have the ability to simply observe it without emotional attachment. It becomes sacred as it is a relief that only we can feel for ourselves and a safe space we feel cannot be judged except for ourself.